Sunday, May 1, 2016

Few and far between

Every now and then I get a 'friendly' reminder that I am not like other people. It comes in the form of "I should do this" or "I'm too that".
Most recently, someone made a comment that I should socialize more at work. As a practicing Christian, I am very selective of who I spend my extra time with. I think this is a super good thing.  There is a spiritual battle going on 24/7 and any little bit I can do to fight it, I will.  Besides the fact, I like to work at work.
While we are also called as Christians to love thy neighbor,  you can usually tell if your neighbor wants to be friends pretty quickly. I can't say I haven't tried at least!!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Prayers for Atheists and Fly-Fishermen

As I have already mentioned, I have begun the journey of 'fishing'.  Not, sport of fishing, past time of fishing, or hobby of fishing. Journey.

There is so much Joy!! in it.  I caught three different trees today and my line at least 5 times.  My casting improved and my mindset changed to one of determination, until it became past lunch time...

I realized there are so many mistakes you can make in fishing as you go and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.  The mistakes are not something looming ahead like a shadow.  They just happen.  This may sound crazy to some of you, but I guess I have come to know a certain amount of failure.  Most of the time my failure has to do with personal interactions and the expectations others hold about me.
Though I worry about it to some degree, I have never been one to want to meet other people's expectations.  Also I hold others to a high expectation, so it's a catch-22.  In fishing, there is no one to please but yourself and no expectations of what may come.  It's all a surprise.

In the scripture, the disciples go back to what they know after Christ has been crucified.  They are fishing when He calls to them on shore as they were when he called them to be disciples.  The truth that he brings though is that He is the peace that they seek.  But their willingness to search is part of the movement that is required of us to not be mediocre.  Learning and practicing a new 'talent' is one way to actively engage in the beauty that God has created for us.

I have been so grateful for my health.  It is such a gift, therefore I want to use that gift in a way that I can glorify God.  My arms work and I love being outside, so I will fish as long as I am able.  I am still learning to walk so to speak, so my journey with this talent is brand new.   It is exciting nonetheless and a newly discovered life's treasure.

Prayer for an Atheist and a Fly-Fishermen

Lord, if you want me to see
Let me find you in the shadows.
Let me recognize the ripple on the surface.
Let me try again and again to seek what is unknown.
Do not forsake a fool who hopes in the smallest fly.
For you are the great Creator.
You have cast your hand in all of these
Lakes, rivers and oceans.
Rise up like the morning sun and show me
Where to find you past the dawn and dusk.

Monday, March 28, 2016

What the day brings

    You never know what the day will bring. Especially a Monday. It is certain that you can never assume what you do not, can not know.
    Interaction example one: Offering help to a deaf person's back does not allow you to think their rude for not listening. Interaction number two: listening to complaints with a smile is an interesting part of the job. But I have learned over the years that a smile diffuses most things politely if not succinctly. That person doesn't know the inner working of hearts they feel they have been offended by. And that is okay too. We all have those days.
   Lesson learned or remembered: pridefulness is a barrier to happiness. Imagine loving a stranger enough to forgo pride. Quite grand and hard to do. It's all in the little things we are able to let go of.
   Most importantly, finding random jelly beans is always delightful! It was sunshine yellow after all!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Doctor Who and Clara Holy Thursday Reflection

"Four and half billion years, why would you even do that?" Clara's Doctor Who is a literary figure of proportions so far greater than what humanity is capable of.

Somehow, Clara's Doctor Who gives me hope.  Both Clara and number 12/13 embody selflessness at points in their timeline.  The act of giving up one's freedom for a known or unknown death is a storyline created by Christ himself.

Whether these or previous writers knew it, the desire of the intellect to explain such a selfless act is always intuitive.  There is more that we cannot see with our limited intellect.

Maybe that is why people cannot wrap their minds around the selfless act of the Son of God who died to save our immortal souls.  Our intuition, if fostered, can see beyond the tracing that is left of the vision of the Cross.  Intuition is more than made up nonsense because it is the longing of the soul to be whole again.

In the tv shows, we eventually see the end of the story or the end of the season and sometimes it goes the full circle giving explanation where needed.  So you can see how an act of self sacrifice is in fact an act of freedom and love.

Christ is Himself, freedom and love.  He is the full circle.  Therefore the intuition, the intellect, the story of salvation are all founded in the selfless act of a God made man.  Man hasn't even existed for four and a half billion years.  Can you imagine if it would?  Jesus Christ's sacrifice would still extend beyond that time as both the beginning and the end of freedom and love.  You are free when you give up you.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Hope and Constancy

"Constancy in effort consists in struggling and suffering to the end, without yielding to weariness, discouragement, or indolence." 1093 The Spiritual Life

Tanquerey paints a vivid ideal for moral virtue. Climbing a trenchant divide is what we actually live.  On the one hand, we are encouraged by the good fight.  On the other is the promise of great grace waiting to be poured upon those who wait in the stillness.

I would say, out of constancy, only to pray. Pray to be still. Pray to act. Pray to hope.

A white martyrdom helps no one if it is done with anger. Therefore, pray and hope.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016


There is a science and an art to the stroke of the fly fisherman's cast.  The goal is to imitate both the randomness and consistency of the prey.  As humans, our clumsy cast can fly far astray or be so meager that it will net very little.  There in lies the struggle we set for ourselves to find the inbetween to imitate the art of nature, the art of God.

As we move along this journey, some things do come easier.  But maybe they don't. Maybe we just learn to let the line ride the wind or be weighted by the current. There is always the unexpected in the fervor and concentration of doing it right.  Preparation and asking questions leads to further wisdom. You just have to keep asking.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Prayer for Peace of Mind

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ,
Guide me today.
Be my light in shadows,
Be my strength in doubt.
When worry threatens my peace of mind,
Let me consider the sorrow you took upon yourself.
Let me consider the birds of the air and the beasts of the field that you have care for.

By the anointing of Your Most Precious Blood,
Allow the grace to flow as such, upon my person.
In all of my error and weakness,
Fill me with your capacity to love more.
When pressure comes upon my breast,
Bear the burden with me.
Continue to walk beside me, carrying me as necessary.

And as the thunder rolls through
And the sharp cracks of lightening strike my inner self,
Let me always seek you and trust you.
This is passing.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Faith and Hope

Faith is a combination of perseverance and perspective. To persevere or not to persevere?  That is not really a question we can ask, when surely humanity will persevere.  But what about the individual? What about the You?

The world is awash with delights for the senses, but the cries from the soul of the unhappy heart are calling to the mercy of the Father.   If you can stop what you are doing and listen, the Father will speak.

As I looked on a plant that is hanging outside on my porch, I saw God in it.  It has been up to 99 degrees this week and this plant is able to cope.  Its every function is glorious and full of splendor.  It perseveres.

The people we meet are full of dark and light, sorrow and joy.  The heart beating within their person is God in his wondrous work. The people persevere.

The Earth spins and seasons sweep storms and sunshine across our globe.  What an amazing creation we reside upon.  It perseveres.

So faith, like all, perseveres.  I don't think it ever goes away.  You can lose faith, but your neighbor may have faith for you, with you and in you. It is the matter of which our intelligence permeates into our being.

Your individual worth is more than anything you can imagine because the Son of God came to Earth to sacrifice his life for you.  Sometimes it will be so hard even to breath or desire to eat.  But your worth is glorious and stunning.  That is You, that the sun is rising up to meet.  That is You, that the crowd of Saints in heaven is cheering on.  That is You, that I am writing this to because someone does LOVE you and thinks of you every moment of every day.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

On Being Different

Growing up, I always felt different from the other girls in my neighborhood. They had pop star crushes and always found out what their Christmas presents were before they got them. I always took long walks and liked to build things.

Thank goodness for being different. If it weren't for differences then we wouldn't have had one such as the Immaculate Virgin Mary.  A priest told me recently as part of a penance, to compare myself with her. I often do this and the Grand Canyon exists between us as far as similarities go. But it was in the context of how to be better and more Christlike.

True faith, I think, is trusting in the will of God for my life. So seeking to be more DIFFERENT, as in different from the world and more like Christ is the true way.

There are lots of ways to be different. I think one sure way is to recognize your failings in 'loving thy neighbor as thyself'. But once you do that to also look at the ways Christ is using your differences to his divine plan.

Be prepared to be attacked though. The world is rejoicing when you fail your conscience. It is his full intention and glee that you become mediocre in faith and apathetic to sin.  I think striving to do your best, but with the devotion to scripture and prayer is the way in which the Holy Ghost can most give you the grace to overcome temptation.  Be different please!  Define your different by the sincerity of living in and through Jesus Christ.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Christ Centered Path

1 Cor 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."

I love the way Jesus Christ loves us.  He is always considering what is best for us.  Sometimes though, you think you are marking out a good path and Jesus has a way of blowing leaves over it and getting you on the right path.

In the story of Job, he loses all his possessions and family.  God has a plan for Job's life to show great works through him.  God shows himself through the faith of Job.

The Christ centered path is the very best path made for his followers.  There are no promises that it will be easy.  There are promises that it will be hard and difficult.

Jesus Christ is more than hardships and difficulty.  In the case of our journey, His love is a light that will guide us to be strong and make it to the Kingdom of God.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Prayer for 2015

Just felt inspired to write a prayer for thankfulness.

Thank you, Lord, for this day.
Jesus, you have shown mercy on me as you watch me stumble from the right path.
Jesus, you have loved me beyond my faults.
Jesus, you are greater than my failures.
Thank you Jesus, for the small ways you show yourself to me.
Thank you Jesus, for the people you surround me with to teach me.
Thank you Jesus, for building my conscience to know when I am wrong and when to stand strong.
Jesus, I am thankful for the wonderful love you bestow on me.
Jesus, I am thankful for the healing power your name has in my life.
Jesus, I am thankful for the strength you give everyday to overcome things that are not as important as living your Word.
Thank you, Lord, for this day.

Monday, December 22, 2014

I love you even though

My last post was about forgiveness and poorly written.  I had a severe cold and I don't feel like fixing what I wrote.  But I believe it to be true, even though my writing was not up to par.

"I love you, even though."  This is something my mother said to me a lot growing up.  I have taken it as both a compliment and an insult.

Before I go on, I would like to say something about my mother.  First, she taught me about love and therefore about who Christ is.  Secondly, she grew up in a broken home filled with fighting and alcoholism.  She has known true poverty and hardship.  This has played a major role in her development, and knowing what I know, I am able to continually forgive any parenting mistakes I feel she has made with me.

Even though she experienced things that could have made her filled with hate and dissatisfaction, she has chosen to be a caring and loving individual.  She always met her children's frustration and anger with love.  That example has led me to try to do the same.  Love, even though.

Through that love, she has forgiven us continually in our selfishness and shallowness.  She has always said it's so important to say you love family even though you may be hurt, angry or proud.  You never know if you won't see them again, so tell them you love them.

I am not a very good writer, but maybe this post will touch a heart to love, even though there are hurts and tough times. Merry Christmas.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Climbing Mt. Everest

Climbing a straight path to the top of Mt. Everest seems like the quickest way to success, until you start to tumble.  As in life, there is no straight path to the top, the end or the finish. The necessity of bearing each step with new equipment becomes more important as the road becomes rough.
Recently someone asked for advice about dealing with a difficult person. My journey with that person has been hard too, because there are other things I would like to be dealing with. I told my friend immediately that I pray for that person A LOT.  I did leave out the hard part of the journey in the conversation, which is that I am still learning to forgive A Lot. Or as much as I can.
It often feels like a journey with a person can start and end so quickly.But there is so much to learn along the way. Many times there is light or darkness around the corner we cannot see. Our preparation of striving to love and forgive is going to be the seemingly hardest way, but the best preparation.
For me, conquering doubt, sorrow, adversity and anger with love is the success, the top and the finish. It is definitely a climb of Mt. Everest proportions.  My motto the last two years has been 'hard work and preparation'.  I still have a ways to go. The journey makes me happy and challenged these days because it's not so hard once you have been challenged at the beginning of the path.
Right now, I have a long way to go. I would like to assume there's an elevator later on, but what strength would I gain from that? So a path of least resistence is purposeless. My equipment is what I have gained by choosing to love and forgive. That is the easy road. That is the straight way. That is the finish.

Friday, October 17, 2014

What does Mary know?

A Pilgrimage.
Tomorrow, I will travel with a friend to see the Cathedral Basilica of St. Anthony in Beaumont, Texas.  It is just a small pilgrimage in the middle of my semester of studying more chemistry and math.  So I will offer this travel for God's will in what I study and for my efforts in that.
Knowing little, loving more.
But more so, I want to offer all things for the Sacred Heart of Christ.  Jesus Christ loves before we know.  Most of us, don't know until we are older, and wiser.  When I say know,  I mean all kinds of knowing.  What's really cool is that Jesus does 'know'.  Of course he knows, and is all-knowing, but for every individual heart there is a call and a path that Jesus knows.
For my sake,  I am interested in following that path which he knows I will follow.  Good or bad, I hope it leads me closer to him.  When I veer off slightly, Our Lady lovingly guides me back.
What does Mary know?
I tend to turn to Mary, Queen of the Universe when my own doubts assail me because she is my first mother.  I love her dearly and she has graciously accepted me as her child.  But she also knows.
She knows that Jesus Christ and the Trinity has overcome the world.  The world which wants to tear up our sense of knowing Christ.  The world that wants to twist our thoughts to relativism and immorality.
Mary, Ark of the Covenant has known from the moment of her fiat, that Jesus Christ, the Son of God is the answer.  He is more powerful than any Earthly thing.  More powerful than bosses, stress, maliciousness, ignorance and more powerful than the fall of sin.
Mary, the Theotokos, has knowledge that whatever my faith, work or efforts done with the love of the Sacred Heart of Christ, will be worthy in their small way.
As the Theotokos, she has known when I will need her and how my journey will go tomorrow.
I am always thinking that to fast and repent for my sins is a good thing.  Jesus knows my faults.  Our Lady knows my faults.  Both draw me close and embrace in the love of God the Father.  I really don't need to 'know'.  I just need to have faith and put more work into that faith that Mary and Jesus will be with me every step of the way.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The New War

The new war is not a war of ground forces or air strikes. The new war is to turn others away from love by twisting truth. One can ask how do we fight against moral evils in our world from our pulpit be it lonely or crowded?
The righteous are the ground forces of God and the angels His backup airstrikes.  We can call upon them and act ourselves with temerity and boldness in the footsteps of Christ.
It scares me to see the cruelness that humans inflict upon others, but prayer changes things.
Prayer has the power to reach the most hardened heart. The weakness that is the faithful, is the scourge of the evil. Through dying he restored our life. We can fight by our meekness and generosity to give of ourselves and let the Holy Ghost guide us on the path of teaching love to others.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Approaching the Precipice

Three weeks until I finish my career as a teacher.  I have many thoughts and opinions on the years but I would like to share a few reflections.

First, it takes an amazing person to be a teacher. I have interacted with many different teacher personalities and the first priority is always the children.  You have those teachers that complain and grumble or don't show for duty, but they do care.  Teachers have become the father, mother and sometimes friend that children need in this changing world.  It is very hard to be a teacher and I bet everyone one of them looks back at the end of each school year and says 'how did I make it through?'.

Secondly, I have learned so much. I see awesome teachers and know I could bump up my skills and be more compassionate, but then I think of how far I have come.  God has used this profession to really burn away poor characteristics and helped me prepare for this harsh world.  Nothing helps you learn quick like ANY classroom of high school students.  I have been telling myself I should keep on in order to grow, but it's time to use my skills elsewhere.

Finally, I'm sure when I see yellow buses rolling in the fall again I'll have a twinge of nostalgia for the school room.  It will fade quickly for the precipice ahead will already be at my toes. I care about the success of Americas children and I think I can help by setting an example to go after what you want and second chances.

God is so good. It would be easy to fail at my endeavor. I have finally learned hard work is the key. Wish me success in my new undergraduate degree in engineering and say a prayer for me!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Little Things Count

Even when I feel most at fault, Our Lord answers little prayers before I ask.  Though highly undeserving, I feel my way is paved by His mighty hand.

How can this be when I am as sinful as my neighbor?  God amazes in every second of the day with His Love. His Love is endless and unfathomable. His Love is pure without expectations.  He is just always, there.

The scope of His love extends through time and dimension. I suspect it is this Love that is the basis for atomic theory. Hard to prove, but so fulfilling to recognize.

The Creator's Love is more than the heresies of this world. The Father's Love is faster than light and sound speed combined. Once received and in receiving, the Almighty's Love penetrates to the essence of your future and past spirit.

Because this life is a passing, and short expanse of time, God's Love must be multiplied for those who have built barriers.  It is the duty of those who love Him to love others.

If you find it hard to share your love, when you do, Love will clear all past hurts because of its depth and reach. As you give it, Love will change the makeup of your inner being like a chemical reaction.  You cannot love and be left unchanged. You cannot recognize love and forget.
Love is the light, Love is the little way to your salvation.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Galactic Catholic Universe Photo of the Day: Louisiana

Only a few weeks ago I was enjoying the fall foliage in Franklinton.

And now old man winter rears his head...and icy wind.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Wishful Thinking

Everybody starts the new year off with a little wishful thinking.  I wish for a new car, for a new job, for a new place to live, and the list goes on. It feels good to think about wishful thinking before you even make the wish.  "Oh, I know what I will wish for!" or "I can't wait to make my New Year's wish!"  

Wishful thinking is delightful, whimsical and hopeful. Wishful thinking is also better than, greater than, bigger than and faster than the last wishful thinking that happened.  It feels great.  And it's good to start a new year off feeling great!  Wishful thinking inspires the best of us to make good resolutions that can make us feel like winners or losers for at least the month of January.

My favorite wishful thinker from scripture has got to be David.  This psalm writer gave us years of wishes that were in fact petitions to our Father in Heaven.  The petitions from David were sincere and hopeful, much like most of today's new year resolutions.  But in his case the petitions were for God's favor.

Wishful thinking got me thinking about the favor of God upon real people like King David all the way down to Mary, the Virgin Mother of God.  In David's case, we can relate to both his faults and his gains.  Most of us don't have a kingdom to run, but we have some charge over ourselves and the people around us.  His psalms relate so easily to our times of trial and struggle and joy.  He is thankful and triumphant and persistent in his faith.

In the Virgin Mary's case, she had one wish to do that of the will of God.  She might have wished for a nicer ride to Bethlehem, but we'll never know.  She never sinned but only had care of one of the greatest wishes of mankind, that of a savior for the people of God.  She had God's favor and couldn't wish for more.

There are many people that don't believe God exists or that turn away from Him.  Can you imagine the emptiness of their wishes?  Where is the joy or hopefulness for the future? You could say, they will work and earn money for what they want or acquire it somehow.  But those things will never be perfect.

I wish to explain.   God is delightful, whimsical and hopeful.  God is better than, greater than, bigger than and faster than the last time you needed him.  God feels great.  And it's good to start a new year off feeling God!  God inspires the best of us to make good resolutions that can make us feel like winners or losers for at least the month of January.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Adventure and the Call

Wow! What a year! Really, sometimes you need to look at the past as a season of change that may encompass more than the Roman calendar.

This last season of change has taken a few years. It has to do with a calling.   I was called to be a teacher 12 years ago.  Now, not so much.  People ask why the change?  There are so many reasons, but it boils down to: "to those given much, much is expected."  There is more I can do for Christ elsewhere.

My mother may call me a gypsy because I move from place to place often.  This new adventure calls me to stay put and work hard however long it takes.  I am venturing into a new field.  I am not sure if the call is to work hard along the way or if it is for the end result.  Either way, this is the second time I have taken a leap of faith in regard to my future.

I intend to study science. Not to teach it, but to pursue it. In my research I have found various means and ways Our Lord can use me in this field.  I tried to ask for Our Lady's intercession today, but she said "she didn't know cause they didn't have that stuff when she was growing up." Ha, just kidding.

Maybe it is because I am older and possibly less graced that there has been no big bang for this move.  It has been a long meandering road with much hope from my parents that I would get out of teaching.  I feel too, that I may be able to continue a path that my grandmother was unable to fulfill in the 1940s to become a doctor.

I find that more than two of my friends are changing careers at this time in their lives as well. This makes me think we all didn't know what we wanted the first time in our college life.  Jesus is lucky though, it takes time to pay back student loans.  He already had the knowledge to follow God's will.  The rest of us just have to figure it out.

The figuring has been slow for me.  Sometimes I think God may be able to use me despite myself.

Whatever the Creator of the Universe decides , I am sure he will let me know if I keep trusting in him.  The things that are worth fighting for are the true desires of our heart. I feel my years as a teacher have been a true refining of my character to approach the work that He calls me to now.